The Philosophy of Mercy
Oct. 6th, 2022 11:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
credit_not_blameThe worst thing about trying to be a person who lives life deliberately is that sometimes you make a choice you don't understand.
Well, at least that's the worst thing that Stacia is dealing with at the moment. There's probably other worse things she'll discover as she continues to move through life as a deliberate person. Life is full of 'worsts' (and 'bests', she's clinging to the 'bests' with every scrap of strength she has because otherwise there's no point to anything at all, and that way lies Harano and the Wyrm).
Magic bullshit happens, and sometimes it's the kind of magic bullshit that forces you look at something you'd put aside because you had other, more urgent things to deal with. Which is what happened to Stacia, and because she doesn't currently have another urgent distraction, it's gnawing on the back of her brain and driving her crazy. Obviously she can't go back and undo the decision, but she wants -- needs -- to understand why she'd done what she'd done so that she's more informed in the future.
What is the difference between showing mercy to an enemy verses leaving them alive to stab you again later?
Fortunately, between other magic bullshit, Stacia's own friendliness and charm, and a certain someone's absolute refusal to hold a grudge even when he really should, Stacia has someone who can probably help her break down that question and come up with a satisfactory answer.
She goes looking for Dan.
Well, at least that's the worst thing that Stacia is dealing with at the moment. There's probably other worse things she'll discover as she continues to move through life as a deliberate person. Life is full of 'worsts' (and 'bests', she's clinging to the 'bests' with every scrap of strength she has because otherwise there's no point to anything at all, and that way lies Harano and the Wyrm).
Magic bullshit happens, and sometimes it's the kind of magic bullshit that forces you look at something you'd put aside because you had other, more urgent things to deal with. Which is what happened to Stacia, and because she doesn't currently have another urgent distraction, it's gnawing on the back of her brain and driving her crazy. Obviously she can't go back and undo the decision, but she wants -- needs -- to understand why she'd done what she'd done so that she's more informed in the future.
What is the difference between showing mercy to an enemy verses leaving them alive to stab you again later?
Fortunately, between other magic bullshit, Stacia's own friendliness and charm, and a certain someone's absolute refusal to hold a grudge even when he really should, Stacia has someone who can probably help her break down that question and come up with a satisfactory answer.
She goes looking for Dan.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-12 07:36 pm (UTC)Dan isn't being self-deprecating; one doesn't go into a career thrusting themselves into dangerous situations if they don't believe, on some level, that they'll be better at it than the person next to them. Dan knows he's good at his work, and he believes his point-of-view would be sorely lacking in his field without him.
"It's hard work not to build up a callus. That's why I reckon mercy ain't usually an act of cowardice. It takes so much work to stay gentle." Not even just against internal forces; there's a lot of pressure from peers to lean into ruthlessness as well. Violence ratchets upwards. People who commit violent acts yearn for those around them to behave violently as well, as if there's absolution in numbers. I'm not that bad, look at the guy next to me, look at this mob I surround myself with. "People are more afeared of hard work than they are anything else."
He smirks and blows a smoke circle into the air, then shoots another through it, twirling his cigarette between his fingers like a tiny baton even as it leaves ash on his knuckles.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-20 05:23 pm (UTC)"You've been choosing mercy for longer than I've been alive, even in situations where I wouldn't," she says. "That's not nothing. That's a stronger conviction than most people can manage in our position; so just accept my admission of admiration."
She swallows a giggle, but a smile breaks out over her face regardless.
"I mean, in their defense, hard work is exhausting," she says. "And people really only have so much decision juice in a day, it's easy to let other people make decisions for you if you don't have the conviction to back it up."
no subject
Date: 2022-10-25 08:04 pm (UTC)"I'm an extremist. I know that about myself, and I wish I weren't, but ain't many people going to knuckle down as hard as I do about these things and that's-"
It's not fine. But it's normal.
"-to be expected. Like you said, most people ain't got much juice left for decisions."
He exhales his last drag and smears out the ember of his cigarette butt between his palms, shielded by the fingerless gloves he wears. He tucks it into his jeans pocket, not wanting to litter.
"That's one of the ways that makes choosing mercy a bit easier, though. Remembering that don't no one ever got enough resources or juice to make all the choices they want to make all the time, and that they might could not even realize how misguided they are when they act in a way you want to retaliate against. Anger - anger's defensive. It locks us into just thinking about ourselves and our needs and what we want, instead of seeing what's happening from a different perspective. It's like...it's an inflammatory response. Like swelling in the body. That's how I see it."